Today is a bit of a reflective posting.  I find myself all fussed and bothered and thought that perhaps writing about it might help me to make some sense.

It is obvious to anyone who has read even just a couple of my postings that I am enjoying myself immensely at the moment with my EQII.  I have found myself a fabulous guild, made some new friends in game, am loving the opportunity to explore loads of the luscious content and generally having a hoot of a time.

The thing is I logged off last night feeling absolutely ragged – please bear with me as I explain.

I logged on after dinner, and some friends from the guild invited me to join them for a quick quest update in PoA and then a bit of time in HoF.  I had no plans at all at that point and always enjoy grouping with these friends so thought why not.

So group leader had literally only just clicked to lead us into the HoF when – not one or two but THREE real life friends all logged on at a loose end asking me if I wanted to do something.  Well I was enjoying myself of course, but these real life friends have been friends for a very long time.  I felt as though I had let them down by not being available for them, but felt as though it would have been very very poor form to jump from the group just like that.

Shortly after that I also missed another in game friend logging on and felt really badly that I didn’t say hiya till she prodded me.  I am certain that she was not offended and completely understood though.

Of particular concern are 2 of my real life friends – because they are not just any friends but very very precious friends to both my husband and I.  It just seems to me to be a very unfortunate co-incidence that they have both just now joined the game at a time where I am in the middle of what can only be described as a very wild and exciting ride. 

If I am to be brutally honest I am torn between the obvious primary importance of my real life friends, and a desire to be somewhat selfish with how I enjoy the part of my life that is my game time.  Over the last 12 months, but more obviously in the last 2 months I have developed my own in-game community of friends that I do not want to compromise, but I am clear that these should not come at a cost to my family and real world friends.

Last night left me feeling that I was struggling for a healthy balance of real life and virtual life, and it didn’t feel very good.